UNF*CK YOUR MARKETING
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HOW IT WORKS
The MDM process, start to finish

WHAT WE BUILD
Every offer, all in one place

ABOUT
Who we are + how we operate

FAQS
Fair questions, straight answers

UNF*CK YOUR MARKETING
Find what's broken first - $499

What We Build

Web Builds→

Get Your Sh*t Straight→

PERSONAL BRAND→

THE WHOLE DAMN THING→

Start for Free

How F*cked Is Your Marketing?QuizPhone DetoxDownload

Ready to move?
Book a free vibe check.
30 minutes. No pitch. Just clarity on where your marketing is leaking.
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FOLLOW ALONG

Path 2 + 3 / The Full Machine

Your Growth Machine. Built, Installed, and Handed to You.

For founders who have become the bottleneck in their own brand. Pick the package that matches your biggest break. You own everything at handoff.

Book a Vibe Check
MDM eyeball

GET YOUR SH!T STRAIGHT

Five Packages. Each One Fixes a Specific Break.

Runs on Claude, which is what makes it yours. You keep a Claude Team or Pro account after handoff. That account is the engine, and it stays in your name, not ours.

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Never Miss a Lead
Every lead followed up. Every time. Automatically.
$7,500
Everything Sounds Like You
Brand voice engine so anyone on your team can create content.
$7,500
Content That Runs Itself
Save days by turning a yap video into 1+ month of content.
$7,500
Team Runs Without You
Stop being the bottleneck. This is your marketing ops hail mary.
$7,500
WTF IS GOING ON?
Start deciding from data with a custom reporting engine.
$7,500

Why this is different

Everyone Else Rents You a Result. MDM Builds You the Machine.

What You're Comparing
What It Costs
What You Own at the End
Fractional CMO
$8,000–$15,000/mo, ongoing
Nothing. They leave, you start over.
AI Marketing Agency Retainer
$5,000–$25,000/mo, ongoing
Nothing. They own the workflows.
Full-Time Marketing Hire
$60K–$100K/yr + benefits
Nothing. They leave, you start over.
DIY Tools + Your Time
$1,000–$3,000/mo + 10–20 hrs/wk
Tools. You're still doing the work.
MDM GYSS Package
$7,500 / one-time
Everything. Yours. Forever.
Jinx

“A fractional CMO at $10,000/mo costs $120,000 before the end of the year. You own zero infrastructure. One MDM package is $7,500, once. The system runs without MDM in the room.”

— Jinx

Book a Vibe Check
MDM eyeball

Not Ready Yet?

Start By Unf*cking Your Marketing.

$499. We look at everything and tell you exactly what's broken and what to fix first. If Get Your Sh!t Straight is the right next step, you'll know it when the audit is done.

Guarantee: If we don't surface at least 3 things you can act on immediately, you pay nothing.

Get Unf*cked